


Summer

by BlossomBlue



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Cheating, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Manipulative Felix, NSFW, Smut, Vulnerability, Vulnerable Dwight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26933620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomBlue/pseuds/BlossomBlue
Summary: When Dwight is confronted by an old lover, his emotions take over as he remembers their summer fling.
Relationships: Dwight Fairfield/Felix Richter, Felix Richter/Original Character
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21





	Summer

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by Taylor Swift's new song 'august', highly recommend giving it a listen! :) i may or may not make this into a small series if people seem to like it!  
> enjoy Summer!

Freezing temperatures, cold air and condensation filled the car instead and out. Snowing was predicted at any point this week, from what he’d heard on the radio and seen on Twitter. Dwight drummed his fingers along the steering wheel lazily, to the beat of whatever pop song was playing on the radio. He adjusted his tie in the rear-view mirror. A red tie with a white shirt and slacks wasn’t his favourite outfit; but it would do when going for an interview. Some high rise office company job that he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted. He had done little research, and was hoping to bullshit his way through this interview just like any other. He needed out of his pizza delivery job as soon as possible, so he could tell his future tinder dates that his life actually had meaning. 

He pulled slowly into the car park, pulling up next to a white car that he recognised. Unable to put his finger on who it belonged to, he turned off the engine and pulled out his phone from his pocket. Dwight gulped, looking at the tall building in front of him. He wasn’t really sure if this place was suited for someone like him, and considered turning back. 

Dwight looked down at his phone and smiled. A text, from his best friend Jake. 

_Jake, the one and only - 12:22pm_

_good luck with the interview! Drinks after? :)_

He replied with a thank you and yes, he would most definitely be needing a drink after this one. Dwight closed the door to his shitty car and headed inside. Each hurried step saw the breath in front of him twirl into nothing, as he wished he’d brought some kind of jacket or scarf. He stepped through two large glass double doors, and a large white desk greeted him, with a beautiful lady sitting behind it. She saw him and smiled. The security guards behind her however, did not look so friendly. 

Dwight took all of it in, not that there was much detail. Everything was so spaced out, and there was a lot of emphasis on the colour white. Everything matched, with glass tables covered in white linings. There were windows and mirrors, reflections everywhere, making Dwight feel small. Small, but warm, finally. 

“Hey there! How can I help you?” The lady asked politely. 

“Hi, I’m here for an interview?” 

She did some typing at her computer, asked for his name and a few details. Once ready, she smiled at him and pointed him in the direction of the elevators. It was a big building, and Dwight wasn’t exactly the best with heights. Floor 42 was his destination. 

After the agonising ride up the elevator, it opened to a small room, with only one wooden door in front of him. It had no window, so no seeing inside what he was up against. He sighed, stepping out of the elevator and tried to compose himself. Dwight could feel his nerves creeping up on him, and could feel himself start to shake. Was he still cold? No, this place was full of heating. It was polar opposites of being uninviting and warm. He held his knuckles against the door, bracing himself for the knock. 

“Come in,” A deep voice replied to his knock. An almost familiar one. 

Dwight’s sweaty palm grabbed the door handle and turned it, furrowing his eyebrows He knew that voice. Opening the door slowly so as to not disturb the voice, Dwight wondered if his glasses were deceiving him. He wished they had been. 

“Hi, come take a seat-”

The face’s mouth opened a little, upon locking eyes with Dwight. Dwight stared back at the blonde in front of him, his own face mirroring the one in front of him. Silence and stiff tension filled the air, as neither of them knew what to say. He dropped the pen out of his hand, the sentence he was writing in his notebook long forgotten. 

~

The wisps of the clouds in the sky were pretty, and it wasn’t so hot for being the middle of the day. The sun only beat down on their legs, as they were covered by the shade of the apple tree they were laying under. It was peaceful, out in the back fields behind a farm where they weren’t supposed to be. They were pretty far back, so it would be hard to even find them in the first place; it was exactly the way they wanted. 

The smell of freshly cut grass surrounded by flowers was strong, and the wind blew gently every now and then so a flower or two would land on them. Some of the sky was blocked from the tree branches and leaves above them, but they could still make out bits of vibrant blue peaking throughout. They studied the apples that fell, sometimes even eating some. Tucked away from society in the middle of July wasn’t how Dwight had planned his summer, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t the happiest he’d ever been. 

They met at college of all places. Felix came in to do a presentation for their class, not that Dwight listened or cared. Felix would scold him for that, if he knew. He was too busy distracted by his red suit, his lips when he talked, the way he laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. Now Dwight got to do all these things, up close and personal for himself. Felix was older, though it was hard to pinpoint his exact age from the outside. It turned out Felix was just as interested as Dwight had been that first class; yet he made no advances, trying to remain as professional as possible. That didn't last long. Felix sent him emails about class, to which Dwight responded with chatty, conversation starters. They hit it off, and it only took a few weeks for them to realise there was something between them. School had finished for good a few months ago for Dwight, yet they had been seeing each other over summer ever since. 

The difference between Dwight and Felix was that Felix was still hidden. ing who he really was. He told Dwight many times he was scared of coming out, and Dwight never belittled him for that. He remembered when he came out first to his best friend Jake, and how terrifying that experience was. Then came everyone else, his family, his workplace. It spread quickly, the town talked. Everyone accepted him with love, and when he tried to tell Felix it would be okay, he would shrug him off and change the subject quickly, or just answer by kissing him deeply, to which Dwight couldn’t never resist. 

He stopped pushing, so they stayed hidden. Dwight wanted more than anything to show Felix off to the world, to show everyone that out of anyone he could have, and he could really have anyone, he chose Dwight. He wanted one summer day where they could just walk around town holding hands, where they could sit in a cafe and stare longingly into each other's eyes, without looks of disapproval or confusion. The childish charm in him longed for more each and every time they met, and he pushed for it each time. Sometimes it scared him, thinking Felix might leave. 

All of a sudden, fingers creeped up his right side, and started moving around his waist and hips. Dwight erupted in laughter, eagerly pushing the hand away, squinting his eyes shut and giggling still. He opened them to see his lover, still laying there on his side, his right arm holding his head up, leaving a triangle gap big enough for Dwight to stick his hand through and stroke the back of Felix’s head. He smiled. 

“Are you listening to me now?” Felix remarked with a smirk. 

Dwight rolled his eyes over to Felix and tilted his head slightly. He was laying completely flat with his back on the blanket they found stuffed near the big tree they were under. Previous lovers may come back for it, but for now it was only theirs. 

“Okay, okay yes I’m listening,” Dwight said, with a slight giggle still in his voice, adjusting his thick black glasses. 

Felix raised an eyebrow. “You’re always in that head of yours,” He said, shaking his head. 

Dwight smiled at, blushing slowly creeping in on his cheeks. “You’re always in my head, I can’t help it!” 

His lover raised both eyebrows this time and let out of a scoff, playfully shoving him enough to roll over. “But I’m right here you goof!” 

Dwight laughed, allowing himself to be shoved. He rolled over face first onto the blanket and let his glasses almost fall off, choosing to focus on the tall blades of grass that had seemingly grown in the hours they’d spent under the sun. Lips kissed the back of his head, then down to his ear. Felix leaned over him, rubbing his hand over Dwight’s exposed arm. 

“You think I’m boring huh? Is that it?”

He continued to kiss down his face, getting to his neck and began to suckle. Dwight let out a small breath, and shut his eyes. He couldn’t imagine anywhere else he would rather be, and prayed to any kind of God for them to stop time. This moment needed to last forever. 

Dwight shrugged him off, Felix huffing and sitting up. “Felix, you know we can’t. Besides, I wanna wait till Friday. You know, my birthday and all,” Dwight sat up and crossed his legs, picking at the blades of grass in front of him. 

“You’re so picky,” Felix said rolling his eyes. “This is the perfect place to lose your virginity and you want to do it in my car?” He finished, chuckling slightly. 

Dwight continued to pick at the grass. “Yeah. I know how badly you want it, but can we just wait?” He sounded nervous, Felix could tell. 

“Yeah, sure. It can wait till then,” Felix sat with his arms over his knees, and used one arm to stroke the back of Dwight’s head. His black fuzzy hair was already messed up, and he never had an issue with Felix touching him. 

“Just wait until I finish work. Come round the back, and remember don’t let-”

“Let anyone see me yeah yeah, I know.” Dwight huffed, now picking the blades with more strength. Felix looked down and let go of his head. He could tell the tension had picked up, and he wasn’t ready for Dwight to pick this fight again. 

“So, what are you gonna do now that school's finished?” 

Dwight sighed, and fumbled around for more places to pick the grass. “I don’t know. Look for a job, I guess.”

A smirk creeped onto Felix’s face. “Why don’t you come work for me, eh? You know, all the office job grad stuff. You can make my coffees, I can do you in my office on my lunch break. You know, the casual stuff.” 

He sighed once more. “Felix,” Gaining his attention, he looked over with a straight face. Felix looked back with a confused look on his face. They had done other stuff before, but never sex. Whilst Felix banged on about how the first time isn’t as special as everyone says it is, Dwight was one for rites of passages. He wanted to lose it with someone special, and Felix was the perfect choice. That’s why he was making him wait a while, which he seemed to be doing okay with. Dwight needed to know if there was more to this than just the intimacy, he knew Felix liked him, but could never decipher to what extent. 

“I don’t...I don’t want this to just be a summer fling. I don’t want to be your summer fling. I...I really like you, I don’t want to be something you can just fuck whenever you feel like it, or do whatever else it is that we do. We have something special, I think. I see a future with you in it.” 

Dwight looked away, and felt nervous. He could feel Felix’s gaze on him not faltering, and stopped picking at the grass when he felt a hand on his cheek pull him close to his lover’s face. They were inches away from each other, looking deeply into one another's eyes. 

“Hey, look at me. I was joking, alright? You’re right. I haven’t been clear with my emotions. You are way more to me than just a summer fling, you are my future. I don’t know how everything is going to work out but we will figure it out. I love you, Dwight.”

His breath stopped. His eyes widened slowly. He didn’t realise Felix was already at that stage, but it felt relieving to know this meant more to him than he was clearly capable of expressing. Dwight didn’t know how love was supposed to feel, but he could make a guess. Everything leading up to this very moment, all the things they had done and said had to mean something more than just a summer fling. 

“I love you too,” 

Felix smiled lovingly, tilting his head slightly and pulled Dwight in for a kiss. It was deep, and Dwight could tell it meant a lot to him. Their lips moved in sync just like they always had from the first kiss. They pulled away after a few seconds, and Dwight rested his head against Felix’s shoulder to look out against the meadow they had been secretly coming to for a while. The flowers and grass blew gently, and the farm house could be seen in the distance. 

“That reminds me,” Felix began. “Was there anything you wanted for your 19th birthday?”

~

He had no idea how long he'd been staring. Felix looked a little different, but still had the short blonde hair, the memorable jawline and the eyes that he didn't like to admit could still captivate him. He hand still rested on the door knob, clutching it tightly ready to make his move. 

Felix wore a red suit with a black shirt. Just like the day he first saw him. It could've been the same suit, not that Dwight cared to ask. The shock had faded, now it had turned to anger. Felix, the man who took everything from him. 

Felix cleared his throat, and stood up, holding out a hand. "Dwight," He croaked out. "Nice to see you. A shock, actually." 

Dwight stared him down, his gaze fixed on the middle of nose as to not get swooped up again. He just stood there, not moving or making a sound. Felix darted his eyes around the room before pulling his hand away quickly, adjusting his suit. He stayed standing up behind his desk. 

"So, uh, how have you been?" 

No response. Dwight began to feel the anger rise in him. After these years, he pretended like nothing had ever happened between them. Like he hadn't just left-

"Dwight? So what, you're just not going to talk to me is that it?" 

Dwight made his first move by turning around and facing the wooden door. He decided this view was much nicer. His hand hadn't left the door handle, and was ready to twist it and run.

"Dwight-" 

"What do you want me to say? Seriously? You wanna know how I've been? Do you even care?" He didn't even realise how raised his voice was. Dwight didn't know who was around nor did he care; if he wanted an answer, there it was. 

After a few moments of the room returning to silence, Felix cleared his throat once more. Dwight had the urge to snap it. 

"That's the first time you've shouted at me, you know. Seems like you've got more of a voice on you now, good for you."

Just leave, Dwight thought to himself. If he started something, Felix would call security and have him kicked out for good. He finally turned the handle getting ready to leave. 

"Wait! Dwight, please. You're here for a reason, right? The uh, the interview? At least let me do that for you. Please." 

Dwight sighed, and closed the door shut with his forehead. He needed this job to get away from his current circumstances. A big job in the city wasn't for people like him, but he had no other choice. He wanted to stay near his friend Jake, so they could get a place together soon. 

Dwight reluctantly turned, and waited until Felix moved and sat back down at his desk. He pulled the chair out in front of the desk and gingerly sat down, keeping himself to himself. Felix began to type away at his computer, and from the stolen glances Dwight took, he was nervous. Felix didn't give much away around others, but he seemed actually nervous, for once. 

"It's Dwight. Fairfield. F-A-I-"

Felix held up a hand. "It's okay, I know. I remember," He replied, continuing to type away. Dwight wished he hadn't remembered. 

"So, are you gonna answer me? How are you?" 

Dwight scoffed. "Yeah. Great." He folded his arms and took in his surroundings. Everything white, just as Felix liked. His desk was minimal, only a computer, and a mini set of drawers with tons of paper stuffed inside. On top of the drawers, a picture of a girl with light brown hair and a gorgeous smile sat, looking directly at Felix. 

"How is she?" Dwight asked, sneering. 

"Huh?" Felix replied half heartedly, not looking up from his screen. 

"Mia. How is she?" 

Felix stopped typing and sighed. "She's, uh. She's fine. Great, actually." 

Dwight only replied with a simple nod, not caring if Felix caught it or not. He went back to typing. He wondered what was taking so long, as if Felix was stalling for more of his time. 

Dwight raised an eyebrow to him. "Did you ever tell her?" 

Felix sighed, looking over to him. "Dwight…" 

"Well?" He raised his voice. "Did you?!" 

"No," He replied sternly. "I didn't." He looked down, almost embarrassed. 

Another scoff. "Figures." 

Felix clasped his hands together on the desk, his eyes pleading for Dwight to be calm. "Why are you being like this?" 

Dwight leant back into his chair, keeping his arms folded. "Oh you expect me to just be fine with you after the shit you pulled? You must be dreaming," 

Felix looked into his eyes. Dwight felt the pull, he couldn't look away. Like a black hole, he was being sucked in again to Felix's world, and he couldn't find the strength to pull away. 

"I must be dreaming, if you're here in front of me. I fucked up, trust me I know. It's stuck with me all these years, but I had no other choice. You haven't left my mind, Dwight. Everything we did together, it's still fresh in my mind. It means something to me." He finished, standing up in his chair. 

Dwight could only stare, as he slowly made his way around the long white desk to stand on his left hand side. Felix got closer with each step, trapping Dwight in a trance. 

"Don't you remember? Our summer days, on the meadows together, it was warm, the gentle breeze. You looked so beautiful every day," A hand reached out to stroke his face. Dwight's mouth opened slightly, still in his crossed arms position. 

"You'd always give me that look, the one you're giving now. You were so nervous, I was too. All that sneaking around was dumb I know, but it was fun, wasn't it? Dwight?" 

Felix knelt down beside him, Dwight's desperate eyes only following him. The blue eyes had caught him again. The signals in his brain had abandoned him. He could only stare at him, letting it happen. The background behind him flickered to the sunny meadow. The breath on his face wasn't his own. A hand snaked behind into Dwight's hair. The gap between them closed. 

~

They pulled back, breathless from a long lasting deep kiss. The car was already steamed up, Dwight darting his eyes around to each window. Felix picked up on his nervousness. 

"Hey, look at me. It's gonna be okay, nobody comes here this time of night. I promise." 

Dwight's breath hitched as Felix began feeling the bulge between his legs. He nuzzled into Felix's neck, letting him feel him and he pressed meaningless kisses into his ear.

"You're a big fancy man," Dwight said breathlessly. "Why doesn't your car have tinted windows?" 

Felix chuckled into Dwight's neck, kissing it slowly and palming at his bulge still. "Noted. I'll get that sorted for next time, yeah?"

Dwight looked out past his lover's neck to the empty parking lot around the back of the cinema. It was 11 something, Dwight didn't know. He'd been hazy from the making out, now things were getting serious. Dim street lights lit the lot, and he couldn't see a soul for as far as his glasses would allow. 

"You're tense. Relax, Dwight. It's okay," Felix said suckling his neck. "Just let me lead." 

He shuffled out of his own jeans before helping Dwight with his, yet he requested to keep his shirt on, to which Felix respected. Dwight stared at his abs, slowly dragging his hand down to feel each and every one. Felix stroked his hair, letting his hand slip lazily down to his chin. 

"How do you wanna do this?" 

Dwight slowly lowered his head, and that was all the answer Felix needed. Dwight hadn't got the confidence yet to be top, since this was his first time. He carefully pulled back the boxers, letting Felix's cock spring up and hit his stomach. Dwight licked his lips before gently kissing the top, and bit by bit, slowly licked his way down the shaft. Felix was big, but Dwight managed to fit him all in some way. He began getting it wet with his saliva, making sure it would be easier to pump. 

He began moving his head down, then up, dragging his tongue each way. Felix immediately grabbed his hair, letting out small breaths and moans to let Dwight know he was doing well. Felix tightened his grip, which was Dwight's signal to get going faster. He hollowed out his cheeks so none of his teeth brushed past, and continued to drag his tongue, moving it side to side. He stopped for a brief moment, to fiddle around with the tip, letting his tongue linger there just a little bit longer. Felix moaned fully this time, the first bit of precum falling down Dwight's throat. Felix forcefully lifted Dwight's head up, and kissed him passionately. 

"I swear, I was close. You ready?" 

Dwight gulped, and nodded, wiping his lips from saliva. Felix cupped his face and smiled. He moved Dwight carefully to the seats in front of him, Dwight using his forearms to prop himself up whilst sticking his behind up a little so Felix could get in easier. He didn't know why he had the urge to lose his virginity in the back of his car, something about it all seemed exciting, daring. Like they shouldn't be doing it, but Dwight already knew that. The car felt sticky and hot, and being lost in his thoughts failed to realise Felix had placed one finger inside of him. 

"Ahh!" Dwight let out of a breath, a mixture of pain and enjoyment. Felix kept sliding it in slowly, so Dwight could get used to the feeling. He liked the feeling so far, of being filled by his lover. He squeezed his eyes shut as another finger was placed inside, gripping the front seat for help. 

Felix leaned over him and whispered. "Are you doing okay, Dwight?" 

Dwight nodded in response, feeling his hips start to jerk back into Felix. For a brief moment he could feel his bulge again, and wondered how it was going to fit. Felix picked up his pace, each time the squelch of his fingers leaving and being rapidly pushed back in sending Dwight over the edge. He looked down to see his cock leaking with precum, and wanted to touch himself so bad. He didn't want to offend Felix by doing so, so instead settled with moaning even louder. 

All of a sudden Felix pulled his fingers out, leaving Dwight's entrance cold, empty and himself shaking. He went there patiently, whilst he heard a container open, and cold liquid, the same consistency as jelly, was carefully decorated around his hole. He let out a sigh, allowing Felix to paint him as his own. Dwight heard latex snapping, and quickly turned his head around. 

"You're using a condom?" 

Felix didn't look up from his task, unravelling it from the packet. "Dwight, it's your first time. I'm not gonna raw you," He said with a slight smile. 

"But you want to?" 

Felix sighed and finally looked at him, Dwight's eyes pleading at him. "Alright. Yes, I want to. But you gotta tell me when it's too much, okay? Remember our safe word?" 

Dwight nodded, and with that Felix tossed his opened condom on the car floor, alongside his upright phone. 

Felix covered himself in lube, and held the bottom of Dwight's back with care. He looked down, placing his cock at the entrance and teasing a bit, getting a feel for his partner. Dwight impatiently wiggled his hips, and Felix responded by slowly pushing in the tip. Dwight's eyes squeezed shut once more, the grip on the edge of the seat now more forceful. 

"Is this okay? How are you feeling?" 

Dwight croaked out a response. "Fine. I'm okay, keep going. Please,"

Felix nodded and kept pushing slowly, allowing Dwight to adjust. There was a lot of Felix, but Dwight didn't hate the feeling as much as he thought he would. It felt loving and nice, coming from Felix. He was slow and careful, asking if he was okay. Dwight couldn't have picked anyone better for his first time. 

Once all of Felix was inside him, he moved his bottom half of his body, adjusting to the size and the feeling. Felix stroked his back and his behind while doing so, allowing him all the time in the world. Dwight gave a simple nod, and Felix began to pull himself slowly out of Dwight. Every inch that left him, Dwight immediately wanted it back. It almost felt like Felix was made to be inside him. His horniness was over the edge, so it gave him the false feeling of wanting to stay in this car doing this, forever. 

Felix went back in slowly, letting out a moan, to which Dwight responded with quick breaths. "Fuck, I forgot how tight you'd be," 

Felix shut his eyes and faced upwards, slowly picking up his pace. One of his legs was on the floor and one was bent on the seat, leaving him more space to push fast. Finally, to Dwight's delight, he was going at a reasonably fast pace, sliding in and out of him with ease now. He looked down to Dwight, his hips beginning to move back in rhythm with Felix's, making him smile and push harder. Dwight continued to grip the seat, and forcibly closed his mouth. 

"How are you doing down there, huh? Feels nice? Let me know, don't hold back," Felix said breathlessly, adjusting himself and continued to thrust. His own hands gripped onto Dwight tighter, knowing he was going to leave marks. 

_Don't hold back._ Dwight opened his mouth, and the moans flew out of him. He was so loud, crying and shaking with pleasure as Felix was going as fast as the space would allow. Felix's cock slammed into Dwight with every thrust, causing Dwight to lose it each time and moan with quick breaths. 

"Fuck, Dwight, that's it. There's a good boy," 

Those words sent Dwight over the edge. His cock leaked over the seat under him, he needed to be touched now. Felix continued to pound into him, sweat dripping from both of them, especially around his hole. Dwight gingerly moved and arm down to his cock, and tried his best to stroke himself. It was an awkward angle for him, so he couldn't get much pleasure from it this way. Soon, his lover's hand snaked down as he leant over his back, grabbing Dwight's cock for him and began to stroke it.

This was the last draw, Dwight began to shake as his body told him it was time soon. He felt the pent up teasing and tension to be released soon, flowing through his body as Felix stroked away at him, using force and gripping hard to squeeze every last drop out of the virgin. He kept pumping as Dwight moaned louder and louder, almost screaming. 

"Fuck, I need to cum. Do you want me to pull out? Dwight?" 

All he could manage was the shake of his head no, as his own orgasm was fast approaching. Felix picked up his pace with the thrusting and pumping, He moaned loudly, in competition with Dwight. Soon, cum spilled inside of him, Felix pulsating inside of his little hole. Dwight gripped the seat even tighter, his eyes wide open staring at nothing. Felix let out a reliving sigh, as Dwight was on the edge.

"Cum for me Dwight, come on. You're such a good boy," 

That was it. Dwight moaned Felix's name and spilled his load onto his lovers hand, some hitting the seat, some hitting his shirt. He shaked until he was empty, then allowed himself to flop onto the seat, breathless. Felix let go of his cock, and carefully cupped the cum in his hands before opening the door with his foot and throwing it on the floor outside. He reached over the front seat and grabbed some towels he had brought. Dwight still sat there, hazy from the smell of sweat and cum, his ass still leaking with Felix's. 

"Well, safe to say my car is a mess huh? Good thing I brought these," He patted his forehead down reducing the sweat and looked over at Dwight. He laid there lifelessly, clearly exhausted. Felix shook him a little. 

"Hey. You alright? Dwight?" 

Dwight shrugged. It was all he could manage, after that. He felt empty now, without Felix inside of him. Felix took another towel and lifted Dwight's hips to place it under him. 

"We'll wait until it leaks out of you, okay? I'm gonna go stretch my legs for a second, I'll be back," He leant over Dwight again, his face now bright red and smudged up against the seat, his check looking bigger than usual. "You did great, by the way. You felt amazing," 

And with that Felix carefully maneuverer his way out of the car, flexing his arms and shaking his legs out. It was still warm out despite it being dark, and late. The summer breeze Dwight could feel drafting into the car. Was this how it was supposed to be after sex? He didn't know what he was supposed to feel. He liked it, Felix felt amazing. Was it enough? He thought so. 

His eyes drifted down to the open condom, still wet and shiny from it's package. Without his glasses Dwight couldn't see much, but could roughly make out how long it was. Felix was really that big? He felt proud of himself, for being able to fit him all in. He continued to feel the cum dripping out of him, wondering how long they'd have to wait here. He let his hand lazily drop and his fingers brushed past the condom, and his lover's phone, which he had never seen this close before. He gently touched it, fingers glossing over the screen. This had been where he sent many texts to Dwight, flirting and telling him how much he meant to him. 

The screen lit up, a picture of Felix's cat as the home screen. Felix had shown pictures of his finger cat before, and Dwight had remarked how the colour matched his hair colour. On the notifications, a text. 

_Mia - 11:42pm_

_Where are you baby? Did work make you stay over again? I've left food in the oven for you, give me a call when you're coming home, I have a surprise. Love you X_

He slowly closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening. He had no reason to believe Felix was a liar of any sort, but now all the sneaking around suddenly came together in his head, making perfect sense. Perhaps him being confused with his own sexuality was true, and that was part of the reason, and their age gap that neither of them were confident in talking about properly; but this was the bigger reason, it seemed. Dwight had been nothing more than an experiment for Felix, a way for him to figure out who he was. Something to sleep with, a summer fling. Dwight’s biggest fear. 

If Dwight knew he had been on the end of a love triangle, he would've never replied to Felix’s advances. Thinking back, it was Felix who suggested the first meet up outside of college, Felix suggesting to sneak away on lazy summer afternoons when they were both free. Felix who had wanted to be the one to take Dwight’s virginity, the one who kept asking over and over. Dwight mentally slapped himself for not seeing the signs sooner. He felt betrayed, manipulated, groomed into Felix’s life. He’d always be trailing after him, waiting the hours between responses on texts, or cancelling plans just in case he’d call. He had taken advantage of a teen, and although Dwight knew they were supposed to make mistakes, these were not the kind of mistakes he wanted to make. 

He shakily lifted the phone up and opened his eyes. He felt naked, exposed, like he didn’t want Felix to look at him like this anymore. He wrapped the towel around his lower half, sitting his back against the seat. His eyes began to swell with tears, not even bothering to place his glasses back on. Felix jogged back open to the car door, and smiled when he saw Dwight sitting up. His smile faded once he saw Dwight’s crying face. 

“Hey woah, what’s wrong? What happened?” 

Dwight said nothing, simply holding the lit phone up to Felix’s face. He turned, tears streaming down each cheek, yet no sobbing sounds just yet. He was hiding that from him. Felix’s eyes widened, and his mouth dropped upon seeing the text. Felix’s eyes darted back and forth between the phone, clearly not knowing what to say next. Dwight didn’t want to know, or care what he had to say, staring into the glazed over ocean blue eyes. 

~

Dwight pushed back against his lips, using both hands to shove him off, Felix falling backwards on his behind to the floor. Dwight stood up abruptly, making the chair behind him also fall backwards. He shaked with nervousness, shocked that he almost fell into his trap again. Felix regained his balance, standing up with his hands up. 

“What did you do that for?”

Dwight shook his head, and felt dizzy. He almost couldn’t believe Felix had come onto him again so easily, like it meant nothing to either of them. Dwight touched his lips, feeling breathless. He saw Felix take a slow step towards him. 

“Dwight-”

“Stay back! Stay away from me…” Dwight kept his hands fisted by his side, ready to make his leave. 

Felix stopped in his tracks, clearly shocked by Dwight’s sudden outburst. He kept holding his hands up in defeat, or as a way to try and defend himself. Dwight backed against the door, and started to hyperventilate, unable to breath remembering what had happened between them. 

“Hey, it’s okay just calm down-”

“Calm down?! Calm down! You...y-you’re feeding lies to me again, you you’re a liar! A liar and a cheat is what you are! You...y-you manipulated me you,” Dwight placed a hand on his forehead, and one on his knees bending down slightly. 

“I was...young and stupid to fall for someone like you, I...I was nineteen for fuck sake what else could I...and you were...you were twenty nine and and…” Dwight continued to hyperventilate, tears streaming down his cheeks, seeing each tear splash onto the floor below him. 

Felix held back in his same position, his hands still in front of him, staring at Dwight with his mouth open. 

“You manipulated me you...and then you just left without a word after I found out, all I was was just something to fuck! ADMIT IT!” He screamed, finally staring down Felix, sobbing as the words came out of his mouth. 

“Dwight, come on, you know that’s not true-”

Dwight slammed the door behind him with his fist. “Then what is the truth, huh? That you loved me? That we were gonna make it work? That you were gonna leave your job for me, we would find a place far away from here, is that it?” Dwight raised his other hand to palm his eyes from the tears. 

“You never loved me, but I sure as fuck loved you…” He trailed off. 

Felix went over to the left hand wall and slammed it, placing his other hand on his waist and letting his hand fall into his hands. “I did love you! I did love you, Dwight. I didn’t say all those words for nothing, I had, plans for us, I swear I did, but…”

Dwight stood up from the door, taking only one step towards him. Tears still spilled out of his eyes, wondering why he was still listening to him, wondering why he didn’t take off and run when he had the chance. What else could Felix say to him that even mattered anymore?

“But what?”

Felix sighed, closing his eyes and letting his fingers dig into his skin that overlapped them. “When I went home the night we made love, I...Mia told me she was pregnant.” 

Dwight stopped in his expedition to come any closer to Felix. His eyes widened, the tears still falling. His glasses were foggy for the water, and his constant breath. Pregnant. This happened five years ago, meaning Felix was now a Father. 

They had talked about children once. Dwight fantasized in the idea of having them but was never really sure if it could be set in stone for him. Felix would always just smile and say one day, but not anytime soon. He was a career focused man, and wanted to set his sights on expanding his business empire. Dwight remembered that he had said if they would ever have a family, to which Felix never gave a proper answer. 

But now, he was a Father. And a family, waiting for him at home. Even if Dwight wanted to continue his life with Felix, there was no way he’d leave his family for him now. Just for a second, he thought about what could have been. The life they had pictured together on the summer afternoons, the big house he would build for them. Dwight could live a carefree life, and Felix always promised to provide for him. The life they could have had. 

It would have been a life in the shadows, a life of running and hiding. A life of disapproval, due to the gap in their age. They both knew that, and Dwight now realised he wasn’t so sure if younger him was ready to do that. He could never tell his friends or family about his lover, that or he would have to lie but eventually it would come out because something like that is unable to be kept hidden for so long. 

Dwight stepped back again, then again. Feeling the door handle, he twisted it, watching Felix leap up from the wall and chase him out. Dwight slammed the elevator buttons, thanking his stars that it hadn’t gone back down since he came up here. He ran into the elevator, watching Felix walk out of the room after him. He backed against the back wall, hurriedly pressing the ground floor button. The elevator doors slowly closed, and he watched Felix’s face turn into a panic. 

“Dwight, wait-”

The doors closed. The elevator whirred into action, and Dwight shivered from the cold he could feel getting closer to the ground. Once reaching the bottom, he rushed out of the elevator, gaining a few odd looks from the lady at the front desk and the security guard. 

His feet almost slipped as he entered the outside. Dwight threw his arms around himself, eyes still glazed over from the tears. His eyes darted around for his car. It was even colder than before, the sky looking grim and grey. He looked up, seeing the first few flakes of snow fall onto his already cold face. Around him, thick fog covered the area, leaving a hazy glow from street lights and distant buildings. 

He could see his own breath as he reluctantly let go of his other arm to pull out his phone. Fingers freezing, he swiped away and pulled up Jake’s number. His eyes kept searching for his car, yet it was too foggy to see that far in front, as he continued to walk slowly. Jake finally answered the call. 

_“Hey man, how did it go?”_

Dwight choked on his own words, finding it hard to speak all of a sudden. 

_“Dwight? You there, dude?”_

Dwight let out a sob finally, squeezing his eyes shut and kneeling on the ground, forgetting the cold. The only thing that was on his mind was Felix’s face, and his smile. 

“Jake I...I-I need you, he was here he was here and and I didn’t know what to do I ran and I can’t find my car and it’s cold Jake please help me-” Dwight tensed up on the ground, shaking and teeth chattering, his free arm still wrapped around the other. 

_“Woah woah, slow down bud, who was there? Get in your car and stay there, I’m coming to get you. Try and explain to me, what the hell happened?”_


End file.
